The Debatist#3 — To Be or Not To Be?
Our thoughts are like the voices, part of the dialogue or debate we keep having in our head, like different personalities conversing with each other. If you ever felt conflicted, like when you really want to be alone but in a crowd or just mustering the will to wake up in the morning, you know the internal conflict. This fictional series is all about personifying that internal conflict. Like Inside Out, if you will. Episode-3 on Debatist is about indecisiveness and how it manifests in a regular routine.
Pessimist: It’s official! We are indecisive. This is bad.
Uncertainist: Wait, are you sure?
Pessimist: Yes, I am sure we are doomed because we take way lot of time to decide anything nowadays.
Cynic: That’s not true! Don’t forget the times we jump to conclusions.
Uncertainist: Thank you, Cynic. Wait, was that sarcasm?
Pragmatist: Unfortunately, Pessimist is right. We just can’t take quick decisions anymore. And it is affecting all of us! You keep making me question all my decisions and I am thinking like I never thought before. This kind of exhausting thinking makes me think that my thinking is taking a serious hit.
Uncertainist: C’mon! It’s not that bad. So what if I persuade that we take time to take the right decision? It benefits all of us!
Pragmatist: Please! The other day we spent two hours shuffling through movie titles, because we couldn’t agree on a movie! I say thriller, you say what if it’s not thrilling enough. When I say horror, you say what if it’s not scary enough. When I say Batman, you say let’s try something new. We finally ended up watching ‘Friends’.
Uncertainist: And it did end up benefitting you, right? We almost snorted the smoothie because we were laughing so bad.
Pessimist: That can’t have been good! What if we catch a cold? The sanctity of our windpipe is ruined!
Cynic: Okay, so now we’re both uncertain and dramatic.
Pragmatist: But seriously, we must get better at this. Last Sunday, we nearly had a meltdown trying to choose what food to order. This sort of dinner dilemma needs to stop now. How does it matter if it is regular fries or crinkle cut fries?!
Uncertainist: Crinkle cut fries have more surface area, hence better flavour absorption.
Pragmatist: Oh my God! Fine, what about the Friday then? We browsed and browsed and then decided to cook instant noodles.
Uncertainist: But there were so many delicious choices! I wanted to try them all, but you kept telling me not to spend. So I had to order that one perfect refreshing and inexpensive dish that would be speedily delivered.
Cynic: Water is available 10 feet away in the kitchen, just saying.
Uncertainist: You wouldn’t be so smug if I took up on that offer and starved you now, would you?
Cynic: Can we throw this guy out? He is nothing but a pain in the you know where.
Uncertainist: If we are talking about throwing someone out, it should be him. Everyone has some work here, except him. All he ever does is be sarcastic.
Cynic (smirking): Are you really, really sure now?
Pragmatist: Enough! No one’s kicking out anyone. Like it or not, we are one weird family and we have to learn to work together.
Optimist: Yes! Like the Incredibles!
Pessimist (under his breath): More like Indesicives..
Optimist: We wouldn’t lose any of you guys. Uncertainist has helped us be careful and maximize output many a time, else we’d be reckless and jumpy all the time. And Cynic makes me laugh. But, being a little less uncertain won’t harm anyone, wouldn’t it!
Uncertainist: That’s not fair. I just try to ensure that we get the maximum benefit out of everything we do! Maximize productivity, maximize savings, maximize health, maximize experiences, so we have the best of everything!
Pessimist: You forgot maximizing anxiety and time spent in taking decisions.
Optimist: Look, Our time is valuable. Why don’t we use our decision making judiciously? I always hope for a dirt cheap, gluten free, delicious pizza with extra toppings and lightning-fast delivery, but I don’t mind getting a soggy Subway with stale vegetables, once a while.
Pragmatist: Look, as a realist, even I am 100% sure that it is not possible to maximize each time. You just have to narrow things that are worth maximizing. Focus only on what matters and the rest any way doesn’t matter.
Uncertainist thinking ..there is a pause.
Few moments later:
Uncertainist: That makes sense. When you maximize everything, you do end up losing something after all. Are you saying…that I maximize my process of maximizing?
Pragmatist (carefully): Errr…yes?
Uncertainist: For sure, I’ll try! Now who’s being suddenly uncertain? ;)